Hopefully this news story will get out on this site since I was hit pretty hard this week. I lost most of the functionality of this site other than posting videos.
The archives are still available to everyone to read as well as the previous stories. But the reality is the fact I will be posting all my stories from the new site, Buffalohair Universe—->>> http://buffalohair-jage.com/WP-BGI/ from now on. The links here will still be available to enjoy but from this day on, I AM OUT OF HERE.
I am akin to technological disasters and all my old readers know the other sites I had that were hit pretty hard over the years. So for them, this is nothing new but for the new reader, don’t get your panties in a bunch since the new site will have even more stuff to play with.
As for me, I’m still the cute fuzzy little Injun guy with a sardnoic sense of humor that tells it like it is from a crusty old buzzards point of view. Only difference is, I will be doing it all from the new site, BUFFALOHAIR UNIVERSE.
I just realized, I don’t have spell check on this site anymore,……..OH THE HORROR!
Your Devil’s Advocate
The folks at Union Solidarity Development Party of Burma who produced such foolish comedies like;
“Lets Pretend Burma is a Democracy”
“A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Hell”
“Oh Dear, It’s Time for Another Bogus Election”
“Genocide Beach Party”
And last but not least;
“Burmanization, A Love Story”
The USDP is proud to present another comedy from those two boneheads from Naypyidaw, Puppet Master Uncle Than Shwe and his mindless Puppet Thein Sein. With cameo appearances by Satan him self.
Enjoy the fun as these to flatulists lie and cheat their way into your pocket book while lying to the world about everything.
They will literally kill their way into your heart and the Guinness Book of Records for murdering more of their own citizens than any other dictators in contemporary times, except for China of course.
Not since Abbot and Costello has the silver screen been so filled with such uproarious comedy and completely zany antics as these two clowns try to convince the world THEY ARE LEGITIMATE. But as we all know they are frauds destined to face criminal changes for their crimes against humanity in this hilarious comedic motion picture. They are the Two Stooges.
Yes, Uncle Than has his hands full as Thein Sein pretends he has a mind of his own when in all reality it is Uncle Than with his hand up Thein’s back side manipulating his every word. It’s a laugh a minute as they do their song and dance routine while blackmailing payments from non profit organizations within Burma in their “Blood Money Concerto”.
With the help of international corporations who continue to conduct business within this UN sanctioned dictatorship Than and Thein retain power to the chagrin of the people within the borders of Burma. In turn Than and Thein reward these corporations by laundering trillions of dollars making corporate thugs filthy rich on the blood of the suffering in this outrageous comedy.
Taxes? Why pay taxes if you are doing business with Uncle Than and his comical puppet sidekick Thein Sein. They will falsify financial figures so you don’t have to pay a cent to the nation you reside in. The joke is on the taxpaying people of the world in this tumultuous comedic performance. International corporations are pocketing a fortune in unreported earnings thanks to Uncle Than and Thein and their friends at Swift Financial Group of Belgium.
The movie will keep you in stitches provided you survive the endless torture this criminal regime is famous for.
COMING TO A DICTATORSHIP NEAR YOU
So now you’re all hooked up with your respective dogma. You are comfortable with your spiritual connection and you have no fear of the supernatural. Just for grins you still bought all your GI Joe survival gear at Cabela’s and even bought one of those magnesium fire starters like that Survivor-man dude on TV. You mined your front and back lawns to ward off strangers and the neighbors dog that pee’s on your lawn flamingo. All means of egress have been sealed off and you placed bars on the windows of your humble abode making your house look like San Quentin. Yup, you are ready Freddie and you are prepared for anything, even a visitation from Mars if need be. As you peer through the periscope you bought at the Army/Navy store you notice little Bobby Zimmermann playing with kids from across the street. It’s a nice day and the birds are enjoying the thermals. As you wipe the fog from the lenses of your gas mask you begin to wonder, “Now What?”
The Nobel Foundation is presented with the Osculatus Gluteous Maximus (OGM) award for lowering the standard and pandering to political rhetoric. In an era where eloquent speeches matter more than substance it is heartening to note the Nobel Foundation has followed suite and presented this once prestigious award for absolutely nothing. In light of sacrifices made by previous award winners and the multitude of achievements that were accomplished for mankind it is clear they endured for not.
Future award winners will no longer be encumbered by unnecessary and time consuming objectives. Thanks to the Nobel Foundation the only prerequisite will be a well versed and politically correct essay. This will give an equal opportunity to those who do nothing at all a chance to be an exhaulted Nobel Prize recipient. Truly, words will speak louder than action as we face a bold new tomorrow.
In regard to this award I have but one query;
How Far Beyond Stupid Are You?
Your Devil’s Advocate
NASA plans an assault on the citizens of *Cabeus A Crater for rejecting plans to colonize the Solar System.
An unnamed NASA official was quoted as saying;
“We’ve pretty much got the New Word Order sewn up. People of Earth have given up their sovereignties, civil liberties and were assigned to economic work zones now. The Moon is chock full of natural resources and water is one of them. The Moon’s strategic location and the possibility Cabeus A may be building weapons of mass destruction also contributed to the World Trade Organization and the United Nations decision to attack.”
“You guys can colonize the Earth all you want but keep the Moon out of it eh” said Cabeus A resident Lester McGraw.
Mr. McGraw and his family migrated to Cabeus A along with other deposed and impoverished Earthlings who’ve lost their homes and way of life. Attracted by the lack of criminally corrupt politicians in bed with international corporations and greed, the Moon was the only sensible option left. The balmy 107c temperature in the day time and the subtle –153c evening temperature also played into their decision to move to the Moon.
“We don’t get much company here except for a few space guys and they did not hurt anything. Just did not care much for that dang anal probe. But all in all, the Moon was a quiet and secure place where we could raise our kids. And no more Ottawa traffic to contend with. Since Zellers just opened up a new superstore in the next crater we had everything we needed, well except Canadian beer, but we’re building a new brewery. Tim Horton’s was going to open a cafe here until the United Nations Security Council decided we were building nuclear bombs. And that’s when life changed for us eh”, said former Saint Johns resident, Dennis Newman.
“We even have our own national anthem” quipped another former resident of Saint Johns as he began to sing, ‘The Man on the Moon is Newfi’, by **Stompin Tom Connor.
Life on the moon was bliss according to local residence of Cabeus A. They boasted of free satellite TV from all the space junk NASA and other space related organizations dumped on this once desolate stellar object. Living in extreme cold was not a major concern for these rugged Canadian pioneers but they missed the snow.
“I’ll bet they think our brewery is some kind of nuclear reactor and if they bomb that, then they will really have a war on their hands eh, blasted Earthies”, retorted Mr. Newman.
Will October 9th, the date of the pending assault, mark the end of a way of life for these innocent victims of greed and expansion? And most important of all, will NASA bomb their brewery? Only time will tell.
Your Devil’s Advocate
Burmese Prime Minister Gen Thein Sein during a lighter moment entertains cronies U.S. Senator Jim Webb and UN Under-Secretary-General Ambassador Joseph Verner Reed.
While displaying part of General Than Shwe’s art collection Ban Ki-moon ran for cover and hid under an ottoman in the lobby of the United Nations.
Later U.N. security had to convince Ban that Than Shwe was not in the building before he would come out from under the lounge chair.
Ban’s aids helped the U.N. leader change his short, then he was good to go.
Photo proved beyond a shadow of a doubt military dictator of Burma Gen. Than Shwe met John Yettaw prior to swimming to Aung San Suu Kyi’s home. They met in a popular coffee shop in Ontario where John was given a pair of flippers for his fateful swim.
It was also noted by intelligence sources that Than Shwe won the a “curl the lip and win” promotional while he was at the coffee shop. John was a bit jealous and would not say much during the planned excursion. Close up photo of the duo shows an extatic Than Shwe while John Yettaw simply scowled during the commotion.